Reflective Written Assessment Sample Essay
Vikram, a 25-year-old Indian Singaporean man, has been grappling with intense familial pressure to marry, stemming from his parents’ traditional Indian Hindu cultural beliefs. In this culture, marriage is highly valued, either through arranged marriage or by finding a partner independently. Over the years, his parents have encouraged him to find a girl to marry, even expressing openness to his finding someone outside of the traditional arranged route. However, Vikram has been reluctant to comply, leading to escalating tension within the family.
During one of his therapy sessions, Vikram revealed the core reason behind his hesitation: he is not attracted to women. He does not wish to marry a woman, whether through arrangement or personal choice. When Vikram opened up to his parents about his disinterest in women and marriage, it led to a heated confrontation. His parents, steeped in traditional values, were both furious and confused, unable to comprehend why he would reject such an important cultural expectation.
Vikram further disclosed in therapy that he identifies as gay and has been exploring his sexual orientation over the past two years. He is currently in a relationship with another man and is considering a live-in relationship with his partner, which goes against the familial and cultural norms his parents hold dear. Upon learning of his relationship, his parents insisted that he end it immediately and instead allow them to arrange a marriage for him, believing that once he marries a woman, his emotions will change.
In this reflective essay, I will begin with an overview of the importance of cultural identity in counseling and the role of the ADDRESSING model (Hays,1996) in understanding clients from diverse backgrounds. Although I share the same cultural heritage as Vikram (Hindu Indian), I personally do not adhere to the religious beliefs that Vikram’s family holds, as I identify as an atheist. This sets up a reflective approach to how my differing belief system may shape the counseling dynamic while maintaining cultural sensitivity.
Cultural Identity Using the ADDRESSING Model
Applying the ADDRESSING model (Hays, 1996) to Vikram’s case, I will focus on his sexual orientation and ethnicity, the two most critical aspects of his cultural identity. This model provides critical insights into the challenges faced by clients both internally and within their families, as well as a comprehensive framework that enhances the understanding of the several layers of a client’s cultural identity. The use of this model in counseling plays an essential role in helping therapists and practitioners explore the intersectionality between these aspects and how it contributes to the worldviews and experiences of the client. In Vikram’s case, the shared cultural background between him and me allows me to comprehend the deep-rooted significance of various concepts, including dharma (duty), family honor, and traditional marriage in Indian culture. These concepts aid in shaping family dynamics associated with expectations around marriage and family continuity.
Sexual Orientation
Vikram’s sexual orientation is a key aspect of his cultural identity and a major contributor to his internal and external conflict. His identification as gay plays a crucial role in making him experience substantial tension between his personal desires and the traditional expectations of his Indian Singaporean family. In the Indian culture, where his roots can be traced back, individuals from his community adhere to the concept of dharma, which is associated with one’s duty, ethics, morality, and righteousness, all of which affect familial expectations around marriage and societal roles (Srivastava et al., 2013).
In addition, in Indian culture, Khandaan ki Izzat, which translates into family honor in English, is of substantial cultural significance. The pressure to marry a woman notwithstanding his orientation sheds light on the cultural expectations that the client is mandated to adhere to societal norms in order to preserve his family honor, even at the cost of his happiness. According to Bhadra (2019), Subhankar Roy and Virat De; two gay men were threatened to be murdered by their parents after they realized they were in a relationship and staying together. These threats were triggered by the need to preserve their family honor, showcasing the unprecedented implications of being a homosexual in the Indian culture.
Ethnicity
Vikram’s ethnicity as an Indian Singaporean plays a crucial role in shaping the client’s experiences within his family and community. Traditional Indian values around Shaadi or rather marriage are deeply rooted within the worldview of his parents (Mahajan et al., 2013). In Indian culture, marriage is more than a personal decision as it is viewed as a social institution that carries expectations of fulfilling familial duties, especially for men who are expected to be the bearers of the family name. Besides, the cultural practice of arranged marriages is a reflection of the community’s emphasis on the importance of collective decision-making over individual choice (Lewis et al., 2023).
Together, Vikram’s sexual orientation and ethnicity play a crucial role in compounding his internal conflict, in that, although he is seeking to honor his cultural roots, his sexual identity conflicts with traditional values that his family has upheld. The intersectionality of his ethnicity and sexual orientation suggests that the larger Indian community perceives his sexual identity via the lens of his cultural heritage, and this contributes immensely to magnifying the expectations placed upon Vikram. For instance, the fear of Log Kya Kahenge, which in English translates into the fear of “what will people say” is not limited to his immediate family as it extends into the broader Indian Singaporean diaspora where it is crucial to maintain reputation and adhere to social expectations. As such, identifying as gay is considered an affront to the cultural norms, a belief that adds shame and guilt on the client’s family (Hays, 2016). Such added pressure insinuates that ethnic identity and sexual orientation of Vikram are not isolated experiences but interconnected ones, resulting in worsening of internal and external conflicts that faces a gay man. Moreover, in Singapore, Vikram is considered both a sexual and ethnic minority, meaning there is a high likelihood of experiencing minority stress.
Besides, while the focus of this assessment was on Vikram’s sexual orientation and ethnicity, the other dimensions of ADDRESSING model (Hays, 1996) lack impactful contribution to this case. For instance, age has no meaningful relevance considering the fact the client is at his mid-20s, which is considered an appropriate age for marriage in Indian culture. In the same light, developmental disabilities are not present in this case and the dimension of religion, while significant for client’s family, it lacks significant influence on his worldview.
Multicultural Challenges
In this case, multicultural challenges stemmed from differences in values, beliefs, norms, and cultures. They included cultural differences in understanding family duty and marriage, as well as navigating heteronormative cultural assumptions and client expectations.
Challenge 1: Navigating Traditional Cultural Expectations Without Consideration of My personal Beliefs
Despite understanding Indian cultural concepts such as family honor, arranged marriage, and religious expectations at an intellectual level, I lack a personal connection to most of these values. Failure to have a personal connection to this meant that there was an empathy gap. Specifically, I instinctively prefer individual freedom and authenticity over family obligation a phenomenon that makes me perceive traditional expectations as being restrictive in nature rather than meaningful. This had unintended consequences as it made Vikram feel as if I was dismissive to him, increasing the need of setting aside personal beliefs.
As an atheist, I unfortunately do not hold similar religious views to Vikram’s family as a view them as outdated and oppressive. However, this does not mean that I do not understand the weight and significance of religious traditions and cultural expectations of the Hindu Indian culture. Concepts such as dharma (duty) and khandaan ki Izzat (family honor) are the building blocks of the family’s worldview, and they contribute substantially to shaping the internal conflict that Vikram is experiencing.
Solutions to Navigating Traditional Cultural Expectations Without Consideration of My personal Beliefs
Reflections
To address this challenge, I adopted the concept of cultural humility, whereby I acknowledged that although I share an Indian background with Vikram, my atheism results in the creation of a distance from critical cultural values that the client prescribes to. So as to adhere to the concept of cultural humility, I redesigned my interventions to focus on assisting the client explore methods he can adopt to fulfill his duty not only to himself but to also his family while upholding his identity. (Stubbe, 2020). Besides, I showed my commitment to listening and learning, and this contributed to a sense of trust and openness from the client. For instance, I adopted phrases such as, “I do understand family honor is crucial in your culture and I am committed to ensuring our discussions respect that while also addressing your needs”. This reassured Vikram that his cultural values were safe during our therapeutic session. I also adopted cognitive restructuring, a CBT technique to address the cognitive dissonance between Vikram’s sexual orientation and his family expectations. Through the use of cognitive restructuring, I challenged some of the client’s automatic thoughts associated with his duty and family honor such as “I will bring shame on my family if I don’t marry a woman” (Crum, 2021). Here, we went through alternative viewpoints, including the idea that it was possible to give honor to his family in ways that are in alignment with his authentic-self without necessarily conforming to societal expectations of marriage.
Challenge 2: Striking a Balance Between Professional Detachment and Cultural Sensitivity
Being an atheist made me engage the client from a secular and a more individualistic approach where I emphasized self-expression and personal fulfilment. Unfortunately, this approach did not resonate with Vikram as he places more value on community and family-oriented identities. Here, I was mandated to intentionally assume a collective lens in therapy by emphasizing the client’s family unit and community instead of focusing only on his personal growth.
The solution to Striking a Balance Between Professional Detachment and Cultural Sensitivity
Reflections
In order to address this challenge, I integrated psychoeducation into my approach to understanding Vikram’s cultural framework. Here, instead of trying to impose my own individualistic understanding of LGBTQ+ issues onto the client, I used the concept of reflective listening and validation to acknowledge the client’s attachment to cultural values and show respect to his worldview without the projection of personal beliefs. Besides, I adopted the Social Matrix model as proposed by Kliman (2010) to understand how societal norms of heteronormality and expectations influence how Vikram views his sexual orientation, as well as perceive the broader social pressure at play (Aggarwal et al., 2022).
Best Practice Principles of Multicultural Counseling
In Vikram’s case, two Best Practice Principles of Multicultural Counseling and Therapy, including cultural competence and self-awareness played an essential role in promoting culturally sensitive and effective therapy between the client and myself (Gopalkrishnan, 2018).
Cultural Competence
Despite not adhering to the same religious beliefs, I focused on cultural competence by recognizing the importance of religion and familial duty in Vikram’s life. I understood that religious traditions form a core part of his family’s identity and could not be dismissed, even though they contradict Vikram’s personal truth. I made sure to respect these values while also supporting Vikram’s need for authenticity. According to Gopalkrishnan (2018), cultural competence refers to the ability of a counselor or therapist to not only gain an understanding of but also integrate the cultural background of the client into the therapeutic process.
Ivey et al. (2002) stress that cultural competence is not limited to understanding the client’s cultural background as it mandates counselors to adapt therapy to the unique cultural nuances of the client while avoiding engaging in stereotypes that have the potential of distorting the therapeutic process. In the case of Vikram, what being culturally competent meant for me was to recognize the significance of shaadi or marriage as well as the concept of family honor in his family’s worldview.
I also ensured my therapy sessions were culturally sensitive by paying special attention to non-verbal communication and cultural cues from the client. This was informed by the recognition that direct confrontation about LGBTQ+ issues and traditional values has the possibility of being ineffective, considering Vikram’s cultural background.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is another best practice principle which is emphasized by Ivey et al. (2002) when dealing with clients from different cultural backgrounds. It often involves recognizing one’s cultural biases and assumptions (Meyer & Young, 2021). While working with Vikram, I recognized the need to be self-aware of my atheist worldview and how it might create bias. For example, I might instinctively want to validate Vikram’s rejection of religious and cultural norms, but my role as a counselor requires me to explore both sides of his conflict—his sexual identity and his family’s cultural beliefs. I engaged in self-reflection to ensure that my atheist views did not inadvertently affect the therapeutic process, and I considered seeking supervision to check for any unintentional biases.
Personal Reflection
Reflecting on how my shared cultural background but differing beliefs affected my approach to counseling Vikram, I realize that:
On one hand, my Hindu Indian heritage allows me to have a deeper understanding of the cultural and familial expectations Vikram faces, especially the emotional conflict that arise from family honor, which is known in Indian culture as khandaan ki Izzat and personal authenticity. Family duty or dharma and family honor are of great importance in our shared culture as they not only guide individual behavior but also dictate how the family and broader Indian community both from Indian and diaspora view an individual. This recognition allowed me to empathize with the pressure Vikram was feeling to observe these expectations as we are introduced to them from an early age, influencing all major life decisions.
On the other hand, my atheist beliefs allow me to tend more towards rejecting these cultural norms specifically because I feel as if they are conflicting individual self-expression, which in this case is Vikram’s sexual orientation. Being outside of these religious and cultural frameworks mean that there is a possibility of viewing culturally pressures around dharma and family honor as not only outdated but also restrictive.
Working with Vikram played an essential role in improving my personal growth. Specifically, it deepened my understanding of cultural humility. Here, I was reminded that multicultural counseling presents complex challenges that require counselors to balance empathy with cultural sensitivity. For instance, although I was allowed to empathize with Vikram’s personal struggle to live an authentic life as a gay man, I had the responsibility of respecting the cultural framework that made it challenging for him to do so.
Critical Analysis
I critically analyzed how my own belief system as an atheist might lead to unconscious biases. For instance, I may feel less connected to the religious pressure Vikram faces and more aligned with his need for personal freedom. However, I actively mitigated these biases by practicing cultural humility and competence throughout the therapeutic process. Reflecting on the power dynamics in the counseling relationship, I noticed that my shared cultural background with Vikram could create a sense of understanding, but our differing religious beliefs also presented potential challenges. I considered whether I found myself more aligned with Vikram’s desire for authenticity, or whether I struggled to fully grasp the weight of his family’s religious expectations. This reflection highlighted the importance of being aware of how power dynamics can shift based on shared or differing beliefs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this case highlighted the complexity of working with clients from shared cultural backgrounds, especially when personal belief systems differ. I learned that being culturally competent requires recognizing the client’s worldview, even when it conflicts with my own beliefs. This experience has shaped my counseling philosophy, emphasizing the need for self-awareness, supervision, and cultural humility as essential components of multicultural counseling. Moving forward, I will continue to reflect on my personal beliefs and how they may affect my practice, ensuring that the client’s unique cultural context remains at the forefront of therapy.
References
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Bhadra, K. (2019, November 21). Kolkata: Parents threaten to kill gay couple, drive them out | Kolkata news – Times of India. The Times of India. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/parents-threaten-to-kill-gay-couple-drive-them-out/articleshow/72150985.cms
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